Awhile back I got some bug. The doctor gave me a shot, some pills and an assignment. "Go home and take care of yourself."
Will Do! My first thought: chick-flick and sole control over the TV and couch.
This idea took me to the intimidating big red DVD machine in front the our one and only grocery store in town.
How tough can it be to rent a DVD? I watch the kids do it all the time.
Big girl pantie time.
All went okay. Even got the chick flick I wanted. Pressed a button here and pushed a button there. A swap of the debit card. Wahoo! Ready for the 21st Century.
Two mornings later I am back on my feet and headed to work. Time to return the DVD.
I stand once again in front of the intimidating red thing. I see the gadget where in DVD came out. Goes back in the same hole. Easy enough.
Not working. Cannot read the instructions. Trip to the car to get the reading glasses. Oh, hold the DVD case this way. Hmmmm, still not working. Try again. Try again. Try again.
Look around for help. Only people going to the grocery early in the morning have white or blue hair.
C.r.a.p. I'll try over lunch hour. Machine is broken. Someone will fix it by then.
Leaving work. *&^?! The DVD is still in the passenger seat.
Hello old friend Red Box. The hole. The DVD. Try again. Try again. Try again.
THIS SHOULD NOT BE SO HARD!
Call the daughter who works at the grocery. Think the your store's X box is broken.
What?
Cannot return my movie.
Oh. The Red Box.
Yeah, whatever. It is broken.
Did you push the button?
There is no button! I have been looking for the RETURN button everywhere.
On the touch screen mom. Says return.
Oh. I see it. Yeah, it took the movie. Box not broken. Thanks.
Teenage son comes home. Tell him the story.
He looks at me and says:
Why did you rent a X Box game at the Red Box when we have a Wii not a X Box?
What?
Teenage explanation followed.
Oh, so along with a DVD you can rent a X Box game from a Red Box, but not a Wii game.
Like a foreign language test.
When I was his age, we had dumb phones with cords that tethered us to the wall. VHS was but a little star. Cassettes of the top 40 songs were recorded off FM stations. The flickering cursor on DOS programs was an infant. TV channels were limited to 4 and you had to get up to change the dial. Video games were only played in arcades or roller rinks.
But we had cardboard boxes then. We have cardboard boxes now.
From here on out, cardboard is box for me.